Bloody Hell How Did This Happen
by lionssmile
Summary: Takes place between Pangs and Something Blue: You ever wonder how they got him into the tub?(Season 4)
1. What To Do With Him

Author: lionssmile Email: lionssmile@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine they belong to Joss and Co. Bet you already knew that.  
  
Characters: This is mostly about Spike so he is central but just about everyone else is in this to. Summary: I know this is old stuff but what can I say? Have you every wondered what happens between episodes? Well I always wondered how they got Spike to go into the Bathtub in-between Pangs and Something Blue. This is something that I didn't think would have been easy for them to accomplish. So this started out just to answer that question. Somehow the story took on a life of it's own and I went farther than that. Since Season 4 had suggestions of S/W and S/B there is a little of both in this too. Rating: R-mostly for language but since it's not finished yet who knows.  
  
Spoilers: Season 4  
  
Author's note: I tried to stay within the confines of the show and the characters so the plot is limited to what came before and what came after. Hopefully you'll think it's fun though. Distribution: Distribute to your hearts content but please keep my e-mail on it and let me know what sites if any you post it on.  
  
Feedback: I'm only posting the first 2 chapters right now so if you like it and want more you are going to have to let me know. This is my first attempt at writing fanfic so I'm a little nervous about putting it out there for the world to see. There is a lot more but I kind of would like to know how it's being received first. If you don't like it you can let me know that as well and please tell me what you don't like.  
  
  
  
Chapter one: What To Do With Him  
  
Xander, Anya and Willow are standing by Giles' door preparing to leave. Giles is standing close to them with his hands full of containers of leftovers that he is trying to give out to the guys that are leaving.  
  
"You'll thank me tomorrow when you're hungry again." Giles says as he hands Willow a big Tupperware container. She nearly drops the load of books she is caring. "  
  
"Thanks Giles I know I will be more appreciative when the thought of more food doesn't remind me of a balloon exploding." Willow says as she attempts to juggle the container to the top of her pile.  
  
Buffy comes up behind Giles with a half eaten pie. "What.you're not taking any pie home? You need pie it's good for you." Buffy says to Xander and Anya. Xander and Anya already have there hands full with leftovers.  
  
Xander looks exasperated as he tells Buffy, "I don't even have a fridge in the basement Buffy all this is just going to go bad."  
  
"Better it goes bad in his basement than in my kitchen." Giles mumbles under his breath.  
  
Buffy ignores Xander and hands Anya the pie with a big smile on her face. "Enjoy!" she says in her most pleasant voice.  
  
"OK I have to go now before I decide to sleep on Giles couch. And you know how uncomfortable that would be." Willow says.  
  
Giles is offended. "I beg your pardon.I have you know that couch is considered to be very comfortable."  
  
"Yeah by Sluray demons and they normally sleep on a beds of nails." Anya says, half interested.  
  
Giles starts to get blustered but Buffy interrupts. "Good night guys and thanks for all your help tonight."  
  
Willow and Anya head out the door but Xander pauses for a moment. "Dinner was great Buffy and it just goes to show you that you can be great at anything you put your mind to."  
  
"Thanks Xander." Buffy gives him a smile and then gently shoves him out the door. "GOOD NIGHT."  
  
"Good night." Giles adds as he shuts the door. He follows Buffy into the living area and they both flop on the couch. "I feel so tired I think I could sleep for a year." Buffy says as she reclines back on the couch. Not a terrible comfortable thing to do she realizes.  
  
"Well I can't imagine why Buffy. You fought a powerful Indian spirit and cooked all day. that's enough to wear most people out." Giles says proudly to his slayer.  
  
"That's true but I just thought it was all the turkey I ate."  
  
"Yes well that might have had something to do with it. The tryptophan in turkey is said to make one sleepy but actually it is the quantity of food and not the tryptophan that has the sedating affect. You see digestion." Giles is rambling on like a schoolteacher but Buffy doesn't feel like listening.  
  
Buffy roll her eyes and interrupts him before this goes too far. "Well if I'm going to get that kitchen cleaned I'd better start now while I'm still conscious..I do a better job that way." She makes no move to rise off the couch.  
  
"No don't worry about the kitchen tonight Buffy I'll clean it in the morning. Besides you did all the cooking it's only fair."  
  
"Are you sure?" Buffy says with an innocent grin. Hoping that Giles didn't see how glad she was at him offering to do the clean up.  
  
"Yes go. Go NOW. Get some sleep you deserve a good nights rest." Giles smiles at her and pats her on her shoulder.  
  
"What about me? Are you going to leave me in this bloody chair all night?", Spike asks.  
  
Buffy and Giles both jump at his voice. He had been so quite they had forgotten he was there. They both look at the blond vampire that was still tied tightly to the chair by the dinner table. Buffy tries to cover up that she had forgotten that he was there. "I've been thinking about that and I think he's right Giles. We really shouldn't leave him tied to the chair."  
  
Spike let a small smile of triumph cross his face. His plan had worked. He had been trying hard to behave himself. He wanted them to trust him enough to let him out of the sodden chair. He hadn't said a word in over an hour. There were times when he didn't trust his mouth not to get him into trouble and this was one of them. An hour of listening to their inane prattle without saying a word was as much self inflicted torture as he could take. He wanted out of the chair even if it meant lowering himself to begging. Ok not begging, more likely threatening, which he knew wouldn't get him untied. And that was why he had kept his mouth shut.  
  
"I don't know Buffy. I am a little uncomfortable sleeping in a house where a vampire is running around loose.", Giles said. Spike grumbled under his breath at the watcher and glared at him. "I told you I'm safe I can't bite anything.", Spike said hopefully, looking back and forth between the watcher and the slayer.  
  
Buffy looked at Spike but spoke to Giles. "I didn't mean letting him go Giles I just meant we should move him to some place more secure than that chair." "What do you think we should do with him?", Buffy asked Giles as they moved to stand in front of him. Spike sighed and rolled his eyes in frustration. She had no intention of untying him. He had suffered in silence for nothing. 'Well at least I didn't provoke them into staking me.', he thought. That was, for some reason, of little consolation to him at the moment with both of them standing over him. They were looking at him like he was a dangerous dog that needed to be taken to the vet. That's it he was tired of being Mr. Nice guy. "How about you let me go and we pretend that I never dropped by. Your hospitality isn't exactly what I was expecting."  
  
"And just what kind of hospitality were you expecting Spike?", Buffy asked. "Just two days ago you tried to kill my best friend and would have tried to kill me if I had been there. Did you really think I would just say come on in Spike, lets have a cup of tea and a nice chat over old times?" She said with a faked friendliness. "You know all those old times where you tried to kill me or my friends." She added with her voice growing colder. Spike had a way of making her furious in a way that few others if any could. 'Why do I let him piss me off so much', she wondered. "And another thing.you're not going anywhere till you give us the information you claim to have."  
  
"Claim! You think I would come here and claim to have information you need? Yes.because it is so pleasurable being tied up in your company."  
  
Buffy smirked at his choice of words and Spike suddenly embarrassed looked away from her, while Giles turned his head and pretended he didn't hear anything.  
  
"Enough Spike!" Buffy said firmly. "This is not up for discussion and if you insist on continuing this way you may well find your self in a worst position than you are now. And THAT most certainly would entail you being gagged." Buffy turned to Giles. "Giles do you have any form of restraints other than rope? He may eventually work his way out of those."  
  
"I don't think.." Giles thought for a moment. "Wait! I might have just the thing. That is if I can remember where I put them." Giles turned and started up the stairs to his loft. Buffy and Spike watched him go. When they heard him rummaging through things up there they looked at each other.  
  
"Buffy this isn't." Spike started but was interrupted by Buffy with an impatient sigh, "Spike I have had a long day and I really don't feel like putting up with your nonsense right now. If you know what's good for you, you'll be quiet and let us get you settled. I just want to go home and get some sleep. As tired as I am right now I might just think sleep is more important than any info you might have and just decide to stake you." To emphasize what she meant she poke him with her finger right over his heart. She didn't think that she could kill Spike at least not while he was tied up and unable to defend himself. But she didn't have to let him know that. Besides it was Spike. As much as she despised him she sometimes enjoyed the times when they slung barbs, and fists for that matter, at each other. He ignited some hidden passion in her. Not sexual passion mind you but when he was around she always felt somehow more energized. 'Eww', she thought, 'I really must be tired to let my thoughts wander like that.' She looked at him and he was glaring at her but he said nothing. Maybe he was learning.  
  
'Why didn't I kill her when I had the chance?', Spike thought as he glared at her. 'I've killed two slayers and many demons that thought they were stronger than I. Why couldn't I kill this one girl? She loves to make my life a misery. My misery is her entertainment. She is standing there gloating because she has power over me. Even worse it's turning me on. Turned on by the slayer I must really be losing it.'  
  
'I don't really think that she would kill me. Part of me obviously trusts her or I wouldn't have come to her for help. That or the lack of food and sleep are making me delusional. That's it I should have killed her when I had the chance. Then I wouldn't have come back to this God forsaken Sunny Hell. Bloody pillock is what I am.'  
  
They both turned to look at Giles as he came back down the stairs carrying a bunch of chains. "Here I found them." Giles said as he handed them to Buffy.  
  
Spike eyed the chains and realized that the minute they put those on him there wasn't going to be much of a chance to escape. Not a pleasant thought but he was getting resigned to the idea. That shouldn't stop him from having some fun though. "So why exactly do you have those Rupert," Spike said indicating the chains with his head, "and why do you keep them in your bedroom?" He said in his most suggestive voice as he raised an eyebrow at Giles.  
  
"Oh very funny Spike. It happens that in mine line of work chains are necessary from time to time. Like now for instance." Giles said trying to sound dignified.  
  
"These should work Giles but where are we going to put him? You don't really have anything in here that we can attach him to." Buffy said as she looked around the room.  
  
"Well nothing that I would like to see get destroyed by our friend Spike here." Giles said pointing his thumb at Spike. "We could put him in my bathtub. I don't think he could do any damage in there."  
  
"Put me in your bathtub! I don't think so!" Spike shouted indignantly.  
  
"You don't have a choice Spike." Buffy said quickly with just a glance in his direction. "That sounds like a capital plan Giles. If you would get a crossbow I think we should get baby tucked in for the night." Spike decided that now would be a good time to sulk so he slumped against the ropes holding him to the chair and drooped his head forward. If they were going to treat him like a baby he could act like one.  
  
Giles went over to his weapons chest and pulled out a crossbow and brought it back and pointed it at Spike's chest. Spike glanced glumly up at him and the crossbow without raising his head. "I think we're ready Buffy." Giles said.  
  
Buffy stood in front of Spike. "Are you going to cooperate Spike?" Buffy asked impatiently.  
  
"I don't want to go in the bathtub." Spike said almost whining and still not raising his head.  
  
"Spike you are pushing it!" Buffy knelt down to start untying his feet. 'Why do I even bother she wondered. Talking to him is like talking to a brick wall.'  
  
Spike was getting angrier ever second-at himself for coming to them and at them for tying him up.  
  
"Are you going to cooperate or not?", Buffy asked as she was loosening the ropes tying Spike's feet to the chair. When he didn't respond Buffy looked up at him and noticed his stubborn expression. His jaw was clinched tight and there was an angry gleam in his eye. "Spike?!", she asked a bit more than annoyed.  
  
"I don't want to be put in the bathtub!", Spike said sounding like a ten year old who was being sent to his room unjustly. He gave Giles and the crossbow a quick glance to make sure that he wasn't goading the watcher into to shooting him. But Giles was looking at Buffy and didn't seem to be all that concerned about any of it. Maybe a little annoyed but definitely not concerned enough to shoot him.  
  
"It's not your choice! You are going into the tub whether you want to or not. If you don't cooperate I'll just knock you out and carry you.", Buffy said as she finished untying his feet. Buffy stood and glared down at him. She was way too tired to be putting up with Spike's shit.  
  
Spike stretched his legs out in front of him but said nothing and looked away from her. The thought of her carrying him almost made him relent but his stubbornness won over his pride. He knew this was no way to convince her that he didn't need to be chained but he just couldn't help himself. The bitch slayer brought out the worst in him. Well maybe not the worst but that depended on your definition of worst. And besides he did so love to make her miserable and angry. When he saw her get angry it filled him with an insane glee. Why he liked to do this he couldn't even explain to himself and he did worry that one day he was going to push her too far and she would stake him but it was just too much fun to resist. He could see her out of the corner of his eye crossing her arms. Any minute now and she was going to be tapping her foot. What the bloody hell did she expect-that he would jump at the chance to be chained in a tub. His stomach chose that moment to growl quite noisily.  
  
Buffy heard Spike's stomach growl and it gave her an idea. "Are you hungry Spike?"  
  
"I'm starving, luv. You know that." He looked up at her hungrily and hopefully.  
  
"Fine, then you cooperate and we will feed you as soon as we get you settled in. If you don't cooperate who knows when you'll eat again." She looked him in the eye and he knew that she meant it.  
  
Pride and stubbornness aside, he was hungry. His need to feed was the worst that he had felt in nearly a hundred years. Spike shrugged, well tried to shrug as best he could with his arms tied at his side. "Fine you win pet. If it gets me fed sometime today I'll play Mr Nice for you." 


	2. Getting Him Into The Tub

Chapter 2: Getting Him into the Tub  
  
Buffy set about untying the myriad of knots holding him to the chair while Giles stood silently holding the crossbow aimed at Spike's chest. Spike sat there grumbling to himself trying to think of someway out of this. The only plan he could come up with was to let them dust him and at the moment that thought didn't sound like such a bad idea to him. Why and the bloody hell did he come to them in the first place? He was such a wanker to get himself in this situation. Well he wasn't going to let his desperation show to the slayer and her bloody watcher. He was determined not to lose his cool in front of them. Well actually he didn't care about the watcher but he would never lose it in front of Buffy.  
  
Buffy finished untying him and he rubbed his arms to get feeling back in them. He waited for the word to move, so he wouldn't give Giles an excuse to shoot him plus he might as well delay the inevitable. "Lets go Spike", Giles said using the crossbow to point in the direction of the bathroom. Spike got up and went in the direction he was told with Giles a few feet behind. Buffy stood back so she wouldn't be in between Giles and Spike. She followed behind them carrying the heavy load of chains and locks.  
  
Spike walked down the darkened hallway past the kitchen. There were three doors in the hallway and all the doors were shut. He had no idea, which was the bathroom. The first door was smaller than the other two so Spike took it to be a closet and went to the second door and opened it. It was obviously not the right room. It was a little study with a love seat and a desk. Not much room in there for anything else.  
  
"Sorry Spike", Giles said coming up behind him. "It's the door on the left at the end of the hall." Spike looked over his shoulder at the watcher who was standing there waiting patiently for him to move on down the hall. All the while pointing that sodding crossbow at him. It unnerved him that the Watcher was so calm about all this. Humans were suppose to be nervous around him not the other way around. "Fine", he said in a nasty snarl as he moved down the hall to the bathroom.  
  
Spike opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. An old cast iron tub that stood on lion-clawed legs dominated the room. Spike walked to the tub but didn't get in; instead he stood there looking down at it. Giles stayed by the door while Buffy squeezed past him and into the room. "Get in the tub Spike", Buffy said as she noticed his hesitation. Spike turned to look at her. Did she really expect him to stay in the tub? From her look it was obvious that she did. "In!" She said harshly.  
  
Spike resigned stepped into the tub. Buffy dropped the pile of chains and pulled out the shackles. It was a pair of thick ankle and wrist shackles connected by a three-foot long heavy gauged chain. "Sit down Spike", Buffy said calmly.  
  
"Hang on a second", Spike said as he took off his red shirt. "Be a good lad and clean this for me watcher" Spike said as he threw the shirt at Giles. Giles, caught off guard, dropped the crossbow on his foot as he reached to catch the shirt. "Oww" That did it; the watcher was definitely paying attention now.  
  
Giles quickly reached down and picked up the crossbow. "You arrogant prat!" Giles said as he took a step forward and brought the crossbow back to point at Spike's chest. Spike tensed, was the watcher going to shoot him? 'Well', Spike thought, 'I don't mind annoying them, if that's all I can do, but not to the point they dust me.' Even as he thought this he pushed his luck further. "What ever happened to British hospitality Rupert? Is this how you treat your guests? Guess that's why your only guests are Little Miss Muffet here and her wannabe slayer groupies."  
  
Before Giles could respond Buffy interrupted. "Shut up Spike! And sit! Now! ", she said with a thinly veiled threat in her voice. Well actually it wasn't veiled at all. Spike sat down.  
  
Buffy immediately set about putting the shackles on Spike's ankles as he sullenly looked on. When she was finished with his feet she reached up and grabbed one of his hands to attach the handcuffs. The full impact of his situation hit Spike and he bulked. He pulled his hand out of her gripped as she tried to attach the cuff. "Those aren't necessary", he said. "Even if I could get out of the tub how far do you think I'm going to get with my feet chained?" A touch of desperation edged his voice but he didn't care.  
  
Buffy ignored his plea. "Give me your hands Spike", Buffy said as they played a comical version of keep away, with Spike waving his hands around and Buffy trying to catch one. Buffy stopped and sat back on her heels and looked at him. "I thought you were going to cooperate?"  
  
"I am!" Spike said as he tucked his hands tightly under his arms. "You know I can't hurt anyone. Why do you need to put those on me?"  
  
"That's it! I'm not going to put up with you anymore." Buffy turned to Giles. "We can get the information he has some other way Giles. Just dust him and we'll rinse him down the drain." Giles smiled a small sinister smile at Spike. "My pleasure Buffy. Thought you would never ask."  
  
That wasn't a pleasant thought. 'Rinsed down the drain!' Spike wondered if they were bluffing him but he didn't give it too much thought before deciding to play it safe. "OK, ok, do what you like", he said as he thrust both of his hands out in front of him.  
  
Buffy quickly put the cuffs on him before he changed his mind. 'Wow that's a relief. Now he's safe.' Not that he could harm anyone in his present condition, 'strange that', but being Spike he could still cause a lot of damage. Surely being chained in a bathtub will keep him out of trouble. Buffy stood up and surveyed her work. Spike had his head bowed and eyes lowered to his hands. 'No part of me should feels sorry for him but damn him if his pathetic act isn't having some affect on me. He's evil and a pain in the ass and has tried to kill me more than once', she reminded herself. Then she thought of leaving him alone in the house with Giles. There is no room for sympathy when a friend's life was at stake.  
  
"That will do I think" Buffy said with a quick glance at Giles then turned to leave the bathroom. Giles looked down at Spike as if he to was judging her handy work, then he also turned to leave. Spike got the feeling that neither of them was planning to come back and feed him. He suddenly felt very desperate and didn't care who saw him that way. "You are coming back to feed me right?", he asked in a voice near panic. Buffy stopped at the door and turned back to him. "I said I would feed you tonight if you cooperated Spike. You didn't so you wait." Her face became determined.  
  
"I did! I did cooperate Slayer. I did everything you told me to do" He put on his most innocent face. The need to feed was overwhelming and with him being chained in the tub and unable to do anything about it he feared he might go insane. 'Can she really be that cruel?'  
  
"I had to threaten to kill you before I could get you to do anything. I wouldn't call that cooperation Spike."  
  
"I did my best! I was just trying to tell you that I thought you were overreacting with all these chains." Spike raised his bound hands to emphasize his meaning.  
  
Buffy took a step closer to him, ready to go a verbal round but Giles interrupted. "You go on home Buffy I'll feed him before I go to bed." Giles put his hand on Buffy's shoulder and turned her towards the door. "Don't worry Spike, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
Spike relaxed a bit as he watched them leave the room. He rested his head against the back of the tub and tried to find some position that would be comfortable. It wasn't too bad right now but he had the feeling that after he had been here all night that would change. 'At least I'm going to be fed', he told himself. 'Maybe that watcher isn't all bad after all. That bloody slayer on the other hand would have left me here all night without feeding me.' 'Well she's got spunk', Spike thought with a small smile. 'It's what I would have done if I was her. Still I think I prefer Giles who isn't as nasty.' 


	3. Dinner!

Chapter 3: Dinner  
  
'Damn if this tub isn't as cold as hell!', Spike thought. Having no body heat of his own meant that it wouldn't be getting any warmer. 'Well maybe if I'm real polite with Giles when he comes back I can talk him out of a pillow and a blanket.' Spike was confident that he could do this, which raised his spirits. He relaxed and waited patiently for his dinner.  
  
Giles saw Buffy off then set about getting Spike his dinner. They had sent a grumbling Xander out to the butchers to get blood after dinner and Giles had put it in the fridge so it needed to be warmed up. Giles opened his glass cabinet and looked for a mug that he didn't use. Somehow he didn't believe he would be reusing the mug once Spike was done with it. He pulled out his yellow "Kiss the Librarian" mug. 'This will do', he thought; 'I've never liked this mug.' Some student at the high school had given it to him filled with candies for Christmas. He had never used it; it was too embarrassing to use even if he was alone.  
  
After pouring the blood into the mug he stuck it in the microwave to warm it up. While he waited for the blood to warm up he let his thoughts drift and before he knew it the bell dinged. He opened the door to the microwave and gagged at the smell of the blood, which had boiled over in the microwave. 'Lord I may have over done this a bit.' "Spike!", he yelled to the vampire chained in his tub, "can you drink blood after it has boiled? I may have left it in the microwave too long."  
  
"At this point I will drink it anyway you give it to me so long as you just BLOODY Well give it to me!", Spike yelled back. Giles shrugged and carried the mug down the hall to Spike.  
  
When Giles walked into the bathroom Spike had his head resting on the back of the tub and his eyes closed. "Thank God", Spike said opening his eyes to look at Giles and his dinner. 'Too bad Giles isn't my dinner,' he thought, '.oh well.' "I feel like I am wasting away here." Spike said out loud to Giles.  
  
"Alright", Giles said walking over and kneeling beside the tub. He realized that Spike's chains were too short for Spike to feed himself easily so he held the mug up to Spike's lips. Spike gave him a pained look but said nothing.  
  
Spike was starving enough that didn't give a rat's ass about the humiliation of being fed from a stupid novelty mug. Though he was frustrated at not being able to use his hands. He hungrily bent his head to take a big gulp just as Giles said, "Be careful.," Spike swallowed a whole mouthful of the blood. Spike jerked his head back and yelled, "Bloody Hell!" ".it's hot.", Giles finished.  
  
"Hot! I'm surprised it's not on fire." Spike glared at the Watcher. "You couldn't have warned me a bit earlier?"  
  
"Sorry, but I did tell you that it had boiled." Giles said with a shrug. "I'll go put a couple of pieces of ice in it to cool it off." Giles quickly got up and left Spike alone again in the bathroom.  
  
'Patience Spike patience', he told himself. 'If you piss him off you won't get anything you need.' He lay there and tried to calm his anger. Giles was back quickly with the mug and Spike was more cautious this time as he started to drink. He took a small sip and when he found it cool enough to drink he drank hungrily, finishing off the whole mug in a few seconds. He tried to reach some of the blood he had dribbled on his chin with his tongue but most of it was too far down his chin to catch.  
  
Giles reached over and pull off some toilet paper. "Here let me get that for you." He said as he started to wipe Spikes chin clean.  
  
"Hey!", Spike said jerking his head back. It was one thing to be fed by the Watcher it was something else to have him cleaning his face for him.  
  
"Suit yourself Spike." Giles handed the toilet paper to Spike. Spike bent his knees and leaned forward till he could just get the tissue to his face. He made it look harder than it was, didn't want the human to think he was making it easy for him.  
  
"Will that be enough for the night Spike?", Giles asked. "I can feed you more in the morning but I'd really like to get some sleep now."  
  
Spike was still hungry and thought about asking for more. But he wanted a pillow and blanket more than he wanted blood at the moment. The blood had done little warm him even as hot as it had been. "Yeah, that will do me for tonight Watcher...thanks", he forced out after a long pause.  
  
Giles got up to leave the room and Spike waited until he got to the door and then asked as if it were an afterthought, "You wouldn't happen to have a pillow and blanket I could use? It's bloody cold in here."  
  
Giles turned to look at the captive vampire. 'Does look a little uncomfortable', he thought. "Yes well.hold on a second Spike." He went to the hallway closet and grabbed a comforter and then grabbed a throw pillow off his couch.  
  
"Thanks Watcher", Spike said as Giles entered with the pillow and blanket. Giles dropped the blanket over Spike then touched his shoulder to get him to sit up. Spike looked over his shoulder at the watcher. It was strange to be touched by a human who knew what he was. 'Guess I better get use to it', Spike thought.  
  
When Spike didn't move Giles just held out the pillow and gave him a questioning look. Spike sat forward and Giles put the pillow behind his back. "All better?", Giles asked cheerfully.  
  
"Well let's see I'm chained in the bathtub of my mortal enemy, with the taste of scorched pigs blood in my mouth, along with blisters I might add and I have the prospect of complete and udder boredom ahead of me. So yeah, thanks, the blanket and pillow make it all better!" Spike had what he wanted which meant that he felt that he didn't have to be nice anymore.  
  
"Fine then I'll just take them back then." Giles said with a roll of his eyes and a long impatient sigh. He reached over to retrieve the blanket but Spike grabbed it and wouldn't let it go.  
  
"They're fine Rupert, no need to get in a huff." Spike said putting on an air of nonchalance. "Kind of sensitive aren't you?" he asked rhetorically.  
  
"Good night then", Giles said as he headed to the door. "I'll see you in the morning." He turned the light off and shut the door. About two seconds later he came back and re-opened the door a crack and then walked down the hallway and upstairs to his bed.  
  
Spike listened to Giles getting ready for bed and for the quiet that told him Giles had gone to sleep. He wasn't too uncomfortable, now that he had the blanket and pillow but he wasn't tired in the least. He was a creature of the night and it was.well.Night. He was wide-awake and quickly becoming bored out of his undead mind. He laid his head back against the tub and closed his eyes. Spike let his mind wonder in an attempt to bring on sleep.  
  
This turned out to be the wrong idea. All he could think about was where he had made the mistakes that had ended with him here chained in the Watcher's tub. First he had let himself be captured by those bloody commandos. He wondered how they had known he was a vampire. Maybe they have some device that tells them the difference between vampire and human. Well at least he had escaped from them alive. It was a little unsettling though to think they had done things to him while he had been unconscious. 'Yes', he thought, 'I am lucky I'm not dust right now.' He didn't feel very lucky though. He tried to stretch but his chains prevented him from stretching enough to relieve his tension.  
  
His second big mistake had been to think that he could come to the slayer and her booby gang for help. He hadn't counted on them not trusting him to the point that they would keep him locked up the whole time. He wasn't really sure what he had been thinking. He had just found himself sizzling, covered only with a thin blanket, running to Giles' house in full daylight. He had known that his only chance to escape recapture was to get inside somewhere. Since Harmony had kicked him out he guessed he just went to the only other place where he knew someone well enough to ask for help. "Asking for help! Me! What have I done to myself? And all I get for my troubles is chains and a hell of a case of insomnia." He said quietly to the bathroom walls.  
  
He lay there for hours alternating between self-debasement and semi- unconsciousness. Finally he just had to admit to himself that sleep would not be coming anytime soon. What to do he wondered. He tried to break the chain locking his hands to his feet but without success. Eventually he had more boredom then he could stand so he started planning his escape. 


	4. The Escape

Chapter 4 : The Escape!  
  
Spike leaned over the bathtub and tried to calculate how much noise he would make if he slipped over the edge. He figured that if he rolled out of the tub he could keep his chains from hitting the floor by holding his hands and legs out stiff. It would hurt a little when he hit the floor but he had endured worse than that often enough. He reached and put his hands on the edge of the tub and pulled himself up into a squatting position. Then he put his hands over the edge of the tub and started to tip his head out for the roll when he realized his mistake.  
  
As the chain connecting his feet to his hands dragged across the edge of the tub it made a loud grinding sound. "Bugger", Spike whispered, as he lifted his head up listening for any noise coming from upstairs to indicate that Giles had heard him.  
  
Hearing only silence he went back to his escape. He thought of several ways of rolling out of the tub but each would mean that his chains would hit the edge of the tub. Finally he lay back in the tub to contemplate other options. While he lay there he decided to pull the comforter back onto him. He had pulled it up as far as his chains would allow when he got an idea. He would have slapped his head, if he could have reached it, for not thinking of it sooner. The bloody comforter, if he put it along the edge of the tub he could use it to buffer the sound of his chains dragging across the tub.  
  
Since it was a fairly large comforter he had enough to put across the edge of the tub and some left over to drape on the floor. He could use the extra to cushion his fall. He wasn't soft but there was nothing wrong with trying to avoid some bruising if you could. It wasn't easy to maneuver it into the right place. 'You just don't appreciate being able to spread your arms to do things until they are tied together', he thought.  
  
Once he finally got it into position he rolled out of the tub. He miscalculated a bit and hit his head against the side of the tub as he fell, giving himself a nasty whack. After hitting his head he forgot to hold his hands and feet out stiff and the chains rattled quite loudly when he hit the floor. He alternated between cursing under his breath and laying quietly listening for Giles. He heard the bed upstairs squeak a few times then grow silent again. He didn't know if Giles had gotten out of his bed or had just turned over in his sleep so he lay there for a good ten minutes listening for footsteps or more squeaks from the bed. He heard neither.  
  
As a vampire he could sense Giles' presence if he concentrated but he couldn't sense where he was exactly or what he was doing. Was Giles still asleep or was he laying up there listening for more sound coming from him? Either way it would be pointless wasting the whole night to find out.  
  
He had only planned his escape from the bathtub he hadn't actual planned anything after he was out of the tub. Now what should he do? He thought about crawling down the hallway but quickly dismissed that idea as being undignified and quite possibly very noisy. So instead he decided to attempt walking down the hall. He pushed himself up into a squat then stood up. If he stretched his arms straight down in front of him he could stand erect. If he bent forward a little he had enough slack in the chain between his feet to allow a very small step. Again not very dignified but better than crawling.  
  
It took a quite a few of his small steps to get to the door and a great deal of concentration to keep from trying to take a step that was too big which might cause him to fall. He finally made it to the door and tried to remember if the door had squeaked when he had opened it before. He couldn't remember so he bit his lower lip and pushed. The door opened silently. He should have known the watcher wouldn't have squeaky doors in his house.  
  
On his long walk down the hallway he tried to think of places the Watcher might have left the key to his chains. A couple of times he was so distracted by his thoughts that he over stepped the length of the chain and had to wobble back and forth to regain his balance and once he had to fall against the hallway wall to keep himself from hitting the floor. After what seemed like an eternity he made it to the living area and looked around for likely places the Watcher would have left the key. He certainly didn't want to have to wonder all over the place trying to find it.  
  
He looked over at the desk near the stairs and decided that was probably the most likely place for it. He made a slow arduous journey over to the desk, conscious of the fact that now that he was in the living area any noise he made would be easily heard by Giles who was just up the stairs. It was dark in the living room but his eyes were well adjusted to seeing in the dark and everything was clearly visible to him. Good thing because he had to navigate the length of the room without tripping over any of the furniture.  
  
Once at the desk he searched the desktop for any sign of the key. When he saw a key sitting towards the back of the desk Spike wanted to screamed for joy, but managed not to because of Giles' close proximity. 'That has to be it', he thought. His joy was short lived when he realized that he couldn't reach it with his hands. "Bloody Hell could anything else go wrong?", he muttered. A question that once asked is usually quickly answered with a resounding yes.  
  
Spike moved the rolling desk chair as quietly as possible away from the desk. He then stood in front of the desk and leaned as far over it as he could and tried to reach the key with his mouth. Still the key was too far for him to reach. He stood back up and took in the situation. He could move the desk away from the wall and slip in around the back to get the key. He would have to lift the desk so it would not scrape the floor. He easily had the strength to do that but he didn't think he had the maneuverability to do it quietly. He would have to grab someplace lower on the desk because he could not raise his hands high enough to lift it from the top edge. With his feet being chained together he didn't think he would be able to walk the desk around holding it in this manner. He racked his brain trying to find a solution. It was infuriating to be stopped when the prize was so near.  
  
He finally settled on a plan, one that he thought should easily work. He pushed the chair so the back was against the desk. Then he kneeled on the chair and scooted forward until he was leaning against the back of the chair. All the while trying to hold his chains to keep them from rattling too loudly. Twice he had to stopped moving after a loud rattle and listened for any sign that Giles had heard him and twice he was met with reassuring silence.  
  
Once he reached the back of the chair he leaned forward believing that the chair gave him the extra height he needed to reach the key. He was so close now that he could taste it. 'Just a little more', he thought, 'and I'll have it.' He leaned a little farther and managed to grab the key with his mouth. At the same moment he picked up the key the chair rolled away from the desk and he and the chair flipped over. He landed on the floor with a loud bang and the chair landed on top of him with a louder bang. With the realization that the gig was up he went ahead and released his first emotion. "Oww!" he hollered. 


	5. Back to the Tub

Chapter 5: Back to the tub "What the Bloody Hell is going on down here?", Giles hollered back as he came racing down the stairs, flipping on the light switch in the process. Giles came to a screeching stop as he saw the tangled mess of Spike and the chair along with half the stuff from the desktop.  
  
"What did you think was going on? I was bloody well trying to escape.", Spike said. Despite himself Giles had a bemused smile on his face as he walked over to Spike. "Don't just stand there smirking at me Watcher help me up!", Spike demanded indignantly.  
  
"Oh sorry Spike.", Giles said as he bent over and extracted the chair from Spike and the chains. Once he had the chair standing up he reached down and pulled Spike up and into the chair. "Just what were you trying to accomplish?", Giles asked glancing over to the desk.  
  
"I was trying to get that bloody key." Spike said looking at the sodden key where he had dropped it. "Why in the bloody hell do they have to put chairs on wheels anyway?" Spike asked looking up at Giles. When he did he saw that Giles was nearly laughing. "You find this really amusing do you?"  
  
Giles went over and picked up the key that Spike had tried so hard to get. "No, no.it's just that this isn't the key to the chains Spike it's the key to my desk drawers." Giles was snickering out loud now and Spike was fighting hard to keep from vamping out and biting him despite the pain it would cause. Giles sobered up when he saw the evil look that Spike was giving him, "The key is upstairs Spike. Did you really think I would leave it out in easy reach?"  
  
"You call that easy. Bloody hell, all this for nothing!" Spike said looking very disgusted with himself.  
  
"Why did you try to escape? Where were you going to go?" Giles asked genuinely curious.  
  
"I didn't care where I was going so long as it was away from here. I was bored out of my mind just sitting there. What did you expect me to do? You chain a vampire up for the night with nothing to do but look at the damn walls." Spike said in frustration. The Watcher should have known better he was supposed to be an expert on vampires. "It was cruel!"  
  
"Right and we mustn't be cruel to vampires!" Giles was amused again but also tired and he wanted to get back to his bed. Spike just glared at him. "If you don't fight me getting you back to the tub Spike I'll bring my telly in there so you can watch it. Would that relieve your boredom enough to let me get some sleep?"  
  
"It would help." Spike said with an unconvincing shrug. "Guess I don't have a choice. You sure you won't let me go?" Spike asked looking up at Giles with little hope.  
  
"To quote Buffy here", Giles said, "It's not going to happen."  
  
Giles walked over beside Spike and put his hand under Spikes elbow. "Let's go." Giles said but Spike made no move to rise. He looked over his shoulder at the Watcher.  
  
"I'm not walking back there in these chains." He knew how undignified he looked getting here, had someone been there to see him and he wasn't going to have a repeat for those that missed the show. "It took Bloody forever to get this far and not going back like that." While Giles chewed that over Spike bent forward and smoothed his hair back then looked back up at the Watcher.  
  
Giles looked conflicted about what to do with him. He looked upstairs to where the key was and then looked towards the hall to the bathroom and finally back at Spike. He glanced down at Spike's feet as though he was trying to determine how long it would take Spike to walk down the hall with such a sort chain between his feet. "Stay there Spike. I'll be right back." Giles said as he headed up the stairs.  
  
"Right, where would I go?"  
  
Giles quickly came back with the key and moved to stand in front of Spike. He held up the key in one hand for Spike to see. "Ok Spike I'll take one of the cuffs off your ankle, you'll be able to walk but if you give me any problems." Giles held up his other hand which contained a cross, ".and you'll force me to use this."  
  
Spike looked at the cross and shrugged. "Just what kind of trouble do you think I could give you Giles? My hands are chained and I can't bite.I could maybe spit on you."  
  
Giles thought about this for a second. "Well I'd appreciate you not doing that either." Giles said as he raised his eyebrows at Spike. Spike just huffed and rolled his eyes. He had no intention of spitting on the watcher it wasn't his style and besides it wouldn't accomplish anything. Giles bent down and un-cuffed one of Spike's feet and then stood back.  
  
Spike stood up and turned to walk down the hallway. He's first few steps dragged the loose cuff across the floor so he held his hands a little higher to lift it off the floor. Giles appreciate him not scrapping up his floor. "Thank you Spike." he said. "For not scratching up my floor."  
  
"I may be a vampire but I'm not uncivilized." Spike responded reproachfully.  
  
Spike didn't give Giles any trouble as he walked to the bathroom with Giles a couple of feet behind. When Spike reached the tub he realized how very unhappy he was at being back in this room. "Well nothing to be done about it I suppose." He said as he stepped into the tub. "Pardon?" Giles asked. Spike turned to face him. "What? Oh, nothing I was just talking to myself."  
  
"Fine then go ahead and sit down", Giles said as he gestured towards the tub with one hand and looked around the floor of the bathroom. He glanced at the blanket on the floor and surmised how Spike might have used it. He also looked at the left over chains and locks that Buffy had left when she had chained him up. Spike positioned the pillow and sat down on it and waited for Giles to come and reattach the cuff.  
  
As Giles walked over to the tub his foot got caught in a fold of the blanket and he stumbled a little. In the process of righting himself he dropped the cross- right on top of Spike. It landed in the middle of his stomach. Spike jumped and then tensed as he jerked his bare hands and arms away from the cross. "Hey! Be careful with that bloody thing!" Spike hollered quite irritably.  
  
Giles ignored him as he bent over and reattached the cuff to Spike's ankle. Only after it was secured did Giles reach over and retrieve the cross. Spike gave him a glare and then shook his head as he relaxed. "You going to get the telly now?" Spike asked.  
  
"Not yet. I think I need a little more than your assurance that you won't do this again." Giles bent down and picked up the longest chain in the pile and started to attach the chain to one of the legs of the tub. Spike curious about what he was doing strained his head over the tub and watched him. He said nothing because he knew it wouldn't do any good. Whatever Giles was going to do he was going to do and no amount of talking was going to change that. Giles finished attaching the chain to the tub and brought the other end up over the tub. He had hoped it would reach Spike's feet but the chain wasn't long enough. He only had one lock left so he couldn't lock two chains together. Not one to be defeated. "Spike raise your feet up here," he said pointing to the faucet.  
  
"Great!" Spike said sarcastically, "that will be real comfortable." He didn't like it but he raised his feet.  
  
"You should have thought about that before you tried to escape and trashed half of my living room in the process." Giles locked the end of the chain to the chain link between Spike's feet. It barely reached. Giles was fairly confident now that Spike wasn't going anywhere. Spike on the other hand was sure he wasn't going anywhere and he was suitably miserable about it.  
  
Giles got up and head towards the door. "You are going to get the telly, right?" Spike asked after him.  
  
"I'm going now!" Giles said with some irritation. "Will you just relax." Giles said as he left the room.  
  
"Just relax", Spike said sarcastically imitating Giles tone. "Like to see him chained up in a bloody bathtub and be relaxed." Spike was getting tired now and he thought that he might finally be able to sleep. He was uncomfortable but the useless escape attempt had zapped his energy enough that he was sleepy and besides it was close to sunrise now. Giles returned with a small TV and set it on a shelf facing Spike.  
  
"Ok Spike what station do you want me to put it on before I go to bed?" Giles asked as he was plugging it in.  
  
"I don't really want to watch the telly now Rupert, I think I will just go to sleep." Spike said with a dramatic but useless yawn.  
  
"Bloody Hell Spike!" Giles wasn't going to deal with him anymore this night. He had had enough! "I'm going to bed and if you know what's good for you, you won't wake me again." Giles pulled the shower curtain closed in Spike's face, grabbed the blanket off the floor and stormed out of the room.  
  
Spike started to say something to him about the blanket but thought better of it. No point in being killed over a blanket and besides he had a telly now which was even better. He could watch Passions in the morning. He was, for some reason, contented so he lay back, closed his eyes and went to sleep.  
  
He was in fact asleep a good while before Giles was. Giles, fuming over Spike's behavior, tossed and turned for more than an hour before he too finally slept. 


End file.
